Thattukada(Road side eatery)
Kuttapettan (shop owner named Kuttapan), in his lungi and baniyan, shouts, “Oru kaapiiiiiiii……….. “(One coffee) and walks in. He himself took milk, decoction and sugar, made the coffee and serves it to me. I drink and leave. Kunjumon (an arbit mallu name), who looks like he is 12 years old (Kuttapettan claims he is 16. Shady. Very shady), wearing vallinikkar(shorts with a rope to keep it in place) collects the cup and dips it in a bucket of water and gives it back to Kuttapettan who uses it to serve the next customer.
Service: Quick. Cost: Rs 4.
A family restaurant
I place the order with the server who is wearing a normal dress. He brings the coffee prepared by the cook. I drink and leave. A cleaner wearing Khaki comes and takes it to the cleaning place. God knows what they do in the cleaning area.
Service: Decent. Cost: Rs 8.
A 3-star hotel
I place the order with a manager wearing a tie over a shirt. A server with a bow on his collar serves the coffee and sugar separately. I have to mix it with sugar and drink. Server himself clears the cup and a maid (?) washes.
Service: Slow. Cost: Rs 16
A 5-star hotel
A manager wearing coat and suit takes the order. He brings decoction, milk, sugar separately. He pours it for me. I have to mix and drink. The manager clears the cup and a machine washes.
Service: Very Slow. Cost: Rs 32
A 7-star hotel
A manager wearing business suits takes the order. He brings gas, stove, milk, coffee powder, filter, sugar. I have to boil milk, make decoction, mix everything and drink. I have to clear the cup myself and wash it.
Service: Dead Slow. Cost: Rs 64
A 9-star hotel
I have to search for the cow. Go to market and buy other things. Make. Drink. Wash. Above all, pay for all these.
Service: Non-existent. Cost: Rs 132(????)
PS: This is posted under Vettukathi, (known as Machete in English) because of the joke coefficient is poor.